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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26203396">When someone is ready to answer a 36 question quiz to fall in love with you, you really have nothing better to do</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hana_Midori/pseuds/Hana_Midori'>Hana_Midori</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gintama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:41:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,911</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26203396</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hana_Midori/pseuds/Hana_Midori</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Can 2 pals fall in love after answering 36 questions? Two young ninjas are going to find out.  Pre-Gintama.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hattori Zenzou &amp; Sacchan | Sarutobi Ayame</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>When someone is ready to answer a 36 question quiz to fall in love with you, you really have nothing better to do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Most of the Daimyo houses are empty during the summer. Due to the oppressive humid heat of the season, it’s not surprising entire families and their servants move to cooler lands or that some of their members temporarily return to their respective provinces to schedule the harvesting of their crops. No one is fool enough to try to loot these houses guarded by the invisible hand of the Shogun and the few skeptics who dared to find out have paid for it with their lives or with their sanity, thus perpetuating the stories of the Shogun's shadow army.</p><p>In one of these empty houses, in its vast garden of lush flowering trees and artificial lakes, a couple of its not-so-shady or invisible caretakers go through a rolled-up scroll together.</p><p>"They must be kidding," says the blond boy, shaking his head over and over again as he examines the contents of the document. Leaning on the boy's arm, a girl with lilac hair and red glasses also carefully reads its contents.</p><p>"Did we risk our lives for this ridiculous listing?" the boy's indignation does not allow him to continue holding the scroll.</p><p>Just a couple of hours ago this duo had infiltrated the offices of Miss Aiko, director of the third year secret training program to temporarily steal the contents of her secret vault.</p><p>The ninja training program at the academy, the two youngsters attended, consisted of a first year of Taijutsu, handling the body as a weapon that included exploring and developing skills with different weapons such as the ninjato, the staves, the throwing of shuriken, the use of spears and chains. Followed by a second year of more specific skills such as swimming, horsemanship, the manufacture and use of gunpowder, explosives and poisons, camouflage, meteorology, geography, characterization and interpretation of costumes, to end with a third year of secret and mysterious techniques of which nobody absolutely nobody ever spoke.</p><p>Graduating each year of training actually took much more than a year, each student's progress was tracked individually and, needless to say, many never completed a single program. Sarutobi Ayame aka known as Saa-chan and Hattori Zenzou aka known as Hattori Zenzou were the first students in almost 5 years to complete two full years of training with the best grades recorded in decades. Their expectations and curiosity about the following year's program were such that they had recklessly decided to get as much information as possible about it, even if it means to steal it.</p><p>To their surprise, the contents of the mysterious scroll in the secret vault of the director of the third year training program was nothing more than a list of thirty-six questions that promised to generate love and intimacy between the couple who answered them together.</p><p>"What do you do?" Zenzou asks when he notices that Saa-chan is still concentrating on reading the manuscript.</p><p>"I count words, I try to see if there are any encrypted messages in the text."<br/>
"And?" For a moment, hope returns to Zenzou's voice.</p><p>Saa-chan's gray eyes bring him back to reality. "Question 25. Say three sentences using the pronoun‘ We ’"</p><p>"We were deceived," Zenzou begins to enumerate with his index finger. But he doesn't feel that  sentence is entirely correct. The truth is that no one told them or implied that the content they were so desperately looking for was in that vault, so he rectifies it. "We fooled ourselves and Miss Aiko is a very, very strange woman."</p><p>"We," Saa-chan points her index finger from her chest to Zenzou's and back to herself, " overlooked the fact that she clearly wants to go all the way with your father and that perhaps this is her super-secret weapon to achieve it."</p><p>Despite his immense frustration, Zenzou laughs and falls under the shade of a large tree. "We are not going to talk about women who want to have sex with my father." The phrase that should have sounded like a clear and serious warning not to cross a personal boundary sounds strangely light in the afternoon heat.</p><p>Saa-chan imitates him and sits next to him in the shade, still holding the manuscript in her hands.</p><p>"We are going to have to find another way to locate the third year exams." </p><p>Zenzou's blue eyes cannot be seen under the shade of the tree or his own hair, but they definitely agree. They are going to try it again and again until they get the entire third year syllabus, and then they are going to memorize it and practice each of the techniques outlined in it until they are fully mastered.</p><p>"We are smarter than this," says Zenzou, taking the manuscript from the girl’s hands eager to tear it in half.</p><p>"What do you do?" Saa-chan stops him scared. The most effective way so that an information theft is not detected is by returning the source of the information taken. While it is very difficult for the robbery to be traced back to them, it is much better if no one knows there was a robbery in the first place.</p><p>"Destroy it, for the garbage it is!"</p><p>“Maybe we should give it a second reading? Maybe it's not as stupid as it looks like? " Although she could never admit it out loud in front of Zenzou. Some of the questions make perfect sense to Ayame. Of course, falling in love after 36 questions sounds stupid, but when working in espionage, it doesn't hurt to learn a couple of strategies to build trust and empathy in others. Even if it is false trust and false empathy. Perhaps the quiz is actually a set of reference questions to route a casual conversation.</p><p>"Please! They are questions taken from a quiz for a girl's magazine. " The last word is pronounced with the disgust with which you would describe the smell of fresh vomit.</p><p>"What do you know about that kind of magazine?" with her arms crossed in front of her chest Saa-chan challenges him.</p><p>"Is your boyfriend cheating?, discover it  in 5 questions. Does your crush like you? What kind of flirt are you? " Zenzou tries an increasingly high-pitched tone of voice with each question.</p><p>"Interesting. I never thought you would like that kind of reading, ” Saa-chan frowns and tries to look genuinely surprised by the discovery.</p><p>"I'm not interested, but those may be advertised on the covers at the magazine store when I buy my Jump and it's impossible not to read the covers." Zenzou knows perfectly well that maybe he gave too many explanations and that now Sarutobi wonders how many of those tests and those magazines he has carefully reviewed and the truth is that perhaps he has occasionally looked at a couple of those magazines and answered a couple of those tests, but just out of curiosity to know what might be of interest to a normal girl.</p><p>"So,"  Saa-chan takes the scroll that had been discarded by Zenzou on the ground and starts reading the first question. “If you could invite someone to dinner. Anyone living or dead who would you invite?</p><p>Zenzou falls back onto his back again. The afternoon is too hot to do anything else.</p><p>"Kublai Khan," he replies.</p><p>"A Mongol Khan?" Saa-chan doesn’t hide her surprise because in the way history is taught the Mongols are a barbarous and inferior people who unsuccessfully and clumsily tried to invade their country.</p><p>"And a Yato Emperor and grandson of Genghis Khan" although his school grades never showed it, Zenzou is perfectly capable of remembering a fact or two from world history.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Why not? The question said that I can invite anyone. The guy was a great warrior, he had to be strong and know how to fight in the front line of battle, but he was also someone capable of leading an empire and consolidating peace without brainwashing his crew through a new religion. "</p><p>"Good point." Saa-chan leaned on her back as well. The first answer of the questionnaire definitely showed him a side of Zenzou that she did not know. It's not like political debate is encouraged in any of their classes, but she never would have thought her classmate would be interested in something, well, something other than comics.</p><p>"Who would you invite?" Zenzou asks more interested in filling the silence that was beginning to fill the air than in hearing an answer.</p><p>"Basho?" Ayame answered in a question tone. Her mind focused on grouping the questions by some kind of subject.</p><p>"I think a wandering poet would have loved a free meal." Zenzou had witnessed the expression of concentration on Saa-chan's face many times not to notice that the girl had found something. Now he was intrigued. Perhaps, just perhaps the manuscript would deserve a second review on his part.</p><p>"I guess," Saa-chan says with a slight shrug. Her eyes fixed on the document. "Actually, I thought you were going to ask me who Basho was"</p><p>"I am sincerely hurt by that comment," straightening up a bit Zenzou places one of his hands on the scroll making  Saa-chan to finally look him in the face.</p><p>"Very good smart boy, can you quote one of his poems?"</p><p>"Mmmmm Every morning / pacticing to improve / a cricket"</p><p>"Who would have thought that the little grasshopper knows poetry."</p><p>"Why would you like to have dinner with Basho?</p><p>"I think I'd like to be sharing something very mundane like a meal and seeing him create something amazing." As she speaks, Ayame's eyes have been roaming the infinite blue of the afternoon sky, perhaps just perhaps thinking of the proper haiku that could describe a quiet afternoon like today. When she focuses on the fixed gaze of her companion, she discards the thought. "You think it's stupid."</p><p>“No, but I think you might be disappointed to eat with him. His poems are good but that feeling of simplicity I don't think is really easy to achieve. I don't think that in a single meal you could witness its creation process. " Zenzou straightens up to a sitting position. "How do I explain it ...," his right hand touches his lips, pausing as he organizes his own thoughts. "I think that to listen to the cricket he had to get up early many, many mornings and that most of them, he did not even notice its sound."</p><p>From her reclining position now it is Saa-chan who is watching her companion carefully.</p><p> "Or, maybe who knows, maybe a meal with you and you could be immortalized in one of his poems. "Annoying as hell / the hot summer afternoon / a girl with glasses."</p><p>Saa-chan just ignores the unfavorable Haiku rolling her eyes to the sky for an instant and replacing the scroll as a shield between herself and her interlocutor.</p><p>“Here's another question for your amusement, Mr. Hattori. Would you like to be famous? In what way? "</p><p>"We shouldn't," says Zenzou crossing his arms. His tone as well as his complete posture adopt a very formal air. "We are the agents of the shadows, it is like the opposite of being famous, nobody should remember our names or adknowledge where we have been."</p><p>Saa-chan slightly lowers the scroll to reply. “I think Ninjas are already famous. Famous as horror legends. " By deepening her voice a little, she tries to find the appropriate tone to narrate such a story. “You know, in the style of Yuki-Onna we appear at night, when all is silent, freezing the blood of the bravest Samurai, capable of sensing our presence but unable to see us. They say that we have conquered the gift of invisibility, that we can conjure objects out of nowhere or that we have made pacts with animals like cats, foxes, and birds of prey. "</p><p>"Various towns in Iga and Koga were sentenced to death for that fame," Zenzou recalls with regret and respect in his voice. Saa-chan was rescued from one of these towns when she was only 8 years old. “Fame brings envy and fear in one way or another. Anonymity is the true shield of invisibility, so if I have a choice I prefer to have it on. "</p><p>"I wouldn't mind if someone wrote a decent poem or story about the amazing girl with the glasses." Saa-chan places special emphasis on the word decent.</p><p>"Do you question my abilities as a poet, Miss Sarutobi ?," pretending to be offended Zenzou takes the scroll from Saa-chan's hands, again. “Let me see this nonsense, I will read now. Number 3. Before making a call, do you ever rehearse? Why?"</p><p>Ayame frowns “What kind of call? To whom?"She knows very well that the parchment does not clarify it, but she doesn’t want to make it easy for him.</p><p>Before a mission call. Do you ever rehearse? Why?"</p><p>“You know the answer is, yes. I rehearse everything in my mind.  It is what they teach us to do. I visualize everything with attention to details, because I don't want to fail, although I know that most of the time things don't turn out in the order I expected them, so in my visualization I also try to imagine all the variables that can go wrong. And you? "</p><p>Zenzou nods with a soft exhale “You said it first, it's the way they trained us and it's the way training works. You repeat it and repeat it in all possible ways so when the moment arrives you don’t even have to think about it. So yes, I also rehearse. Next question. What would constitute a perfect day for you, Miss Sarutobi. "</p><p>For a moment Saa-chan is tempted to respond like today, because it has been a really good day. With a double portion of Nato for breakfast, Zenzou did not touch his, with an exciting secret mission, the extraction of the parchment they’re reading and with a quiet afternoon to do nothing. However, what she says is, “The perfect day… would be a day without missions, during a Matsuri, (a summer festival), in which they let us go to town and watch the parades and listen to the music and see the artists on the streets. To be able to eat all the sweets and food from the carts and then finally to be able to find a very good place to see the Hanabi (fireworks) "</p><p>"Sounds good. I think I would enjoy a day like that one, too. "</p><p>"How would it be, for you?"</p><p>“It would also be a day without missions and please without classes or exams of any kind. When I woke up the latest edition of Jump would be by my side, to read it calmly a few times before getting up to play video games for the rest of the day. "</p><p>"It sounds lonely," Saa-chan points out.</p><p>"I like being alone," Zenzou answers confidently.</p><p>Saa-chan sits down, maybe this is the right time to go back to 'work' patrolling the other side of the garden.</p><p>"You know, you're not such a bad company for a girl," says Zenzou, touching the back of his neck with one of his hands. "On my perfect day I could beat you in a video game or two"</p><p>"Who says I couldn't kick your ass in Mortal Kombat," Saa-chan challenges him without hesitation.</p><p>"Trust me, on my perfect day ... I would kick your ass in Mortal Kombat."</p><p>They both smile in mutual understanding and  Saa-chan takes control of the scroll again.</p><p>"It seems fair to me, since that could only happen in your imagination," Saa-chan says before continuing to the next question. "Question number 5. When did you last sing to yourself?"</p><p>"In the bathroom this morning," Zenzou replies with a mischievous smile.</p><p>"Liar, you wouldn't sing in front of the other boys."</p><p>“I was answering for you. We could hear you from the boys' bathroom. "</p><p>"You heard me?" Saa-chan asks clearly mortified.</p><p>“Music is not my thing, but you don't do it so bad. You have a good rhythm, ”says Zenzou as he pretends to masturbate an invisible member with his right hand. "I even think you have fans in the boys' bathroom."</p><p>Saa-chan hits him on the arm. "What you're hinting at is ... it's so disgusting."</p><p>Zenzou stands a couple of steps from where Saa-chan is standing and begins an imitation of the song that Saa-chan sang in the bathroom in the morning, proving that the song was actually heard.</p><p>"High, higher than the sun<br/>
You shoot me from a gun<br/>
I need you to elevate me here, ”with one of his hands Zenzou makes a lifting gesture just at the level of his hip.<br/>
"At the corner of your lips<br/>
As the orbit of your hips<br/>
, you elevate my soul ”with the other hand, he repeats the lifting gesture again at the height of his hip.</p><p>"The song is not about that ..." Saa-chan protests  amused by the ridiculous performance of her partner and mortified by what he continues to insinuate.</p><p>“A mole, digging in a hole, with both hands open facing each other and a slight movement of his own hips, Zenzou simulates a penetrative sexual movement.<br/>
Digging up my soul, now<br/>
Going down, excavation ”</p><p>"Matsuo or Shuwa?" Saa-chan tries in vain not to laugh and not to think about the image of her classmates.</p><p>“You wish me to give up the names of the entire squad… that would be so disloyal of me,” Zenzou jokes. They both know no one in the men's bathroom would be suicidal enough to try something like that openly, but the boys are boys and the girls' bathroom is just on the other side of the wall and imagine them naked with the water running upon their breasts it's almost mandatory in order to 'lift' the team morale.</p><p>"I'm going to murder you and anyone else who ever dare to think about it  while I enjoy my bath," Saa-chan threatens. Zenzou just smiles and nimbly takes the scroll from her hands.</p><p>"Sixth," Zenzou enumerates holding up a finger before Saa-chan can object further. How lucky to have the next question to focus on right at hand.</p><p> "If you were able to live to the age of 90, and retain either the mind or body of a 30 year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? Mind or body?" With a loud snort of disapproval, Zenzou lowers the scroll. "Seriously, who is asking these stupid questions. Who in their right mind would choose to stay mentally frozen?"</p><p>"Someone who is more afraid of an old mind than of an old body," Saa-chan proposes tentatively. "Degenerative mental illness?"</p><p>Zenzou makes a ‘whatever’ gesture before saying. "Body. You?"</p><p>"Body," says Saa-chan.</p><p>"Next question. Do you have a secret hunch about  how you will die? " Zenzou leans his back against the trunk of the nearby tree and covers his face with the scroll.</p><p>"Whenever I imagine I'm going to die I think of water," Saa-chan's gaze immediately goes to one of  the small artificial lakes in the garden, it is the closest water source. Since Zenzou does not interrupt her or find a way to make a joke about it, Saa-chan continues, "I am like a drop of water in that lake, no one will notice my absence."</p><p>"I would notice," says the boy in a neutral tone, still with the parchment as a shield that conceals his gestures.</p><p>The corners of Saa-chan's lips curl up slightly for a fraction of a second and then stop. "Let me guess, your life would improve considerably"</p><p>"As I said, I would notice," he responds with the same disinterested tone.</p><p>"You're so irritating," Saa-chan yells as she throws a kunai right at the boy's head. Failure.  Then she throws another one that fails again and then another one.</p><p>"Look who's talking," the boy replies without bothering to put down the scroll and dodging another lethal weapon by millimeters.</p><p>"How about you? You see my face when you think about the way you're going to die, because you should." The last kunai Saa-chan throws is able to pinch a corner of Zenzou’s scarf.</p><p>"No,” says the boy smiling openly and offering the scroll to Saa-chan as a truce. “I mean, of course I have imagined my own death, but not as a certainty but as a chance I am not very eager to test at the moment.” Maybe, maybe it is a half admission she won this sparring session.”Every time we go on a mission I know it's a possibility and I don't know, I should feel scared, but it's the opposite, to think that I can die, it works as a fuel that fills me with energy. It makes me feel... alive."</p><p>"You're so weird," says Saa-chan, taking the scroll back.</p><p>"Look who's talking," mumbles Zenzou.</p><p>“Next question. Name three things we have in common.”</p><p>“ Look, that one is easy. We are both Ninjas, we both live in the same city and we are both Sagittarius, " the boy enumerates every one of the options with his hands.</p><p>"We are not Sagittarius."<br/>
Saa-chan doesn’t plan to give him the satisfaction of hearing her complain about her birthday’s date. She’s certain he remembers it just fine. </p><p>"Let's see. Prove to me that you can do it better. "</p><p>“We are top of the class which is no small thing to brag about until we realize  it means being responsible for the lives of others during a mission. We both have mixed feelings about what we do, but it is not something we can choose and of course we both wear women's underwear. "</p><p>Zenzou laughs,  with an open smile that is a very rare gesture to see and holds up his hands. "You caught me, totally guilty of the last one."</p><p>"Clown." She accuses him, but part of her knows he’s not usually like this. A lot of their classmates will never recognize this carefree and chatty version of the boy.</p><p>"I guess if you find me funny that means. ‘We’ both have a terrible sense of humor"</p><p>Saa-chan smiles at him against her best senses and tries her best to hide her whole face behind the scroll.”This question is better. For what aspects of your life are you most grateful? "</p><p>"You first, Sarutobi. Surprise me." </p><p>"I am grateful for being alive, for having a roof upon my head and food, but especially I am very grateful for my glasses, because without them I can't see anything."</p><p>When Zenzou doesn’t reply at once, slowly Saa-chan lowers  the scroll and it is only when he’s sure she’s looking at his face that he says.</p><p>"I am also grateful for your glasses."</p><p>She can’t take it more being the only one answering truthfully to the questions. “Zenzou. We are supposed to answer honestly. Don't joke with every question. "</p><p>“I am being honest. Sarutobi. When my father brought you I thought you would be dead in a day, then I gave you a week, then I thought it would be in a month. You worked really hard, but even so I was bothered by the certainty that you were going to die soon as most of the new guys. Then they got you the glasses and… and I didn't have to worry about you dying anymore. "</p><p>"You have never said something like that ..." For once Saa-chan is sincerely touched.</p><p>"Are you already in love with me? Did it really work?"</p><p>The scroll into Zenzou’s ass is her answer.</p>
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